Lover Illusion

9 years and i finally let go
Of an illusion that we will never be
I must admit
I'm a little unhappy
To think after all these years
of loving you and holding on to the hope
That although we were 2
One day just one day
We 2 will become one
I've given you something no one else has had
My heart
Unconditional Favor and my attention
You blew me off
Loved another
And made me to be the blame
That cause i tried to move on(still loving you)
Cope with what i had lost
I made a bad mistake
I know without a doubt in my heart
Nobody will love you this way
My brain is overwhelmed
but yet my heart has been released
9 years
Plenty of tears
From which none of this should be this way
I have come to know that
This was not a fly by night
 But yet i still thought you loved me
Just the timing wasnt right
I regressed with you
After major progress, to a love that was untrue
Was always transparent with you
Never lied and was always true
Was it because of what you fed yourself mentally
or what i lacked materially
Because Spiritually NOBODY  could tell me this was not meant to be
Fed my self
And drained me
Thinking of possibilities
You owe me not just an explanation
But a surgery
Say a prayer for me
And mend not only my HEART
But my negative mentality
I'm wounded not dead
Broken  but spiritually fed.
I'll love you forever
But love myself more Instead